Wrestling is, if nothing else, entertainment. Of course, although kayfabe in the year 2022 is as dead as a doornail to the bedroom of a dodo, professional wrestling is still treated as if real – as much so as any other sport. A surprisingly common tactic wresters attempt however is murder, often in front of millions of viewers. If wrestling is really legitimate as billed, why has Tiger Woods never bludgeoned Phil Mickelson with a five iron or AP McCoy never tried some mafia-style leg braking of opposition jockey’s horses? Well, without trying to get too far from the point, wrestling is very silly and its scripted nature means the industry is always in need of unique and radical ideas, so attempted murder storylines are startlingly present to keep the investment of fans; here are 10 of them who committed attempted murder (and for the large part got away with it).
The Undertaker
The Undertaker was an active competitor in the WWF across four decades in the WWE with a 30-year career, in which time he has committed bloody loads of attempted murder.
On top of killing his own parents in a house fire as a child, that rascal Callaway also tried to up his kill count, the moody sod. Let us take a look at some of his best bits of literal killing attempts.
Probably the most infamous is The Big Boss Man. After the two wrapped up a dull and uninspiring Hell In A Cell match at WrestleMania XV, The Undertaker attempted to murder Boss Man, which is a bit of a stroppy overreaction. Ministry Of Darkness members The Blood ascended and noosed up Bossman, who was then pulled up with the cage. After a few seconds of flailing, the man from Cobb County stopped moving as Michael Cole threw to a hype package about the Rage Party. A hanging on your biggest show of the year which millions of fans may see? Well, I say fans, I mean witnesses.
The Undertaker beat Mankind in a Buried Alive match at In Your House 11, continuing to pile dirt onto Foley even after the bell had rung, definitely showing some intent to actually be driven to kill.
In one of the most terrifying moments of the “Golden Era”, The Undertaker attempted to suffocate The Ultimate Warrior when locking UW in a shallow, claustrophobic coffin. For minutes, panic ensued as road agents such as Jack Lanza, Rene Goulet, and Tony Garea struggled to open the dense coffin. With each failed use of a crowbar or chisel to prize open the tomb and save the Warrior, it seemed more and more likely it would be too late to save him. We look back at a lot of moments we saw scary as children today as passé or traumatic only for infants but this is still genuinely chilling and unnerving today.
Great American Bash 2004 saw The Undertaker fight The Dudley Boyz in a handicap match with Dudley’s manager Paul Heyman holding ‘Taker’s protégé Bearer hostage. When ‘Taker did not do as told, Heyman pulled a switch which filled the box with cement. As we never got a distant shot of Bearer or if we did it was from behind, it was clear a stunt man was in the box and the Bearer reactions were filled earlier but that is not the point. ‘Taker eventually saved Bearer until, for some ungodly reason, pulling the leaver to likely kill his father, proving ‘Taker’s lengthy battles with his daddy issues.
‘Taker also tried to stab “Stone Cold”. When unconscious after an attack, ‘Taker, in his Ministry phase, took Austin backstage and attempted to impale him with a knife. Kane interrupted so Undertaker instead tried to crucify Austin, placing him on a cross with his logo; the same cross he tried to marry Stephanie McMahon on. Wrestling seemed a lot more intense back in the 1990s, Ho Train’s aside. The Undertaker was not arrested but given some WWF world title matches.
These are just a few examples of The Undertaker attempting murder, I’m sure there are many more still that have not been mentioned here, which says it all really.
Terry Funk
It should be quite clear now that “Middle-Aged & Crazy” Terry Funk lost his rag quite a while ago. His lunacy even predated his days in the King Of The Deathmatch tournament and ECW run.
Although an ex-NWA World Heavyweight champion from the period 1975-1977, Funk’s most memorable run was in 1989. Initially a judge to the final Ric Flair/Ricky Steamboat contest, Funk challenged Flair to a title match which “The Nature Boy” rejected. The Texan from the Double-Cross Ranch snapped and hit a piledriver on a table, a rarity for the era.
To further the storyline a clash between The J-Tex Corporation under Gary Hart (The Great Muta and Dick Slater) and Ric Flair and Sting ended in near-murder. After the DQ finish, a rabid Funk rushed the ring and tried to suffocate the NWA champion Flair in a plastic bag, with Funk using the straps to tighten the bag’s grip and make it harder to breathe.
Unbelievably, Flair claimed on his Wooooo Nation Uncensored podcast: “It was ad-libbed [by] Terry Funk. I didn’t even know it was coming.”
Although it immensely aided the storyline, Funk was not safe from backstage punishment, with the company having just signed a big-time deal with the toy-maker Galoob. Jim Ross stated: “It got corporate heat…It was a major deal for a while….on the corporate side…they were pissed…It wasn’t a good day at the office on that deal.”
On the subject, suffocation via plastic bag statistics are sadly more common than you may think. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) reports an average of 25 deaths per year due to suffocation due to plastic bags. Almost 90 percent of them are under one year of age.
Sheamus, Cesaro, The Miz, & Kane
Whilst you can easily believe Kane has attempted murder, as he has many times on The Undertaker, Jim Ross, Shane McMahon (as well as electrocuting his testicles) not to mention the impregnation of Lita (and yes, he eventually became a good guy for that latter one – “Kane the good guy rapist” as Brian Zane of Wrestling With Wregret labels him).
Sheamus, The Miz, and Cesaro are harder to swallow, I mean, just look at Cesaro’s handsome Swiss face.
The TLC 2017 Pay-Per-View was thrown into disarray when a viral infection – mumps, to be specific – broke out, sidelining Roman Reigns. One of the strangest ever main events on paper ever took place as Kurt Angle teamed with Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose to face the fabulous fivesome of The Bar (Sheamus & Cesaro), The Miz, Braun Strowman, and Kane in a three-on-five handicap Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match.
Now, if there were one way I would not like to die, it would be crushed in a garbage compactor (or rubbish truck, as we would say in the UK).
After the team inevitably descended into chaos, the Irish-Swiss-American-Parts Unknownian connection dumped “The Monster Among Men” into a large garbage truck that was at ringside for no apparent reason. Strowman had lost to Kalisto in a Dumpster match earlier in the year, with a dumpster a weird early motif in Strowman’s popularity. The team lost the match; they had murdered one of their teammates in the process.
The Miz and The Bar were both titleholders and neither were punished for the attempted murder with both them and Kane all wrestling the next Raw without consequence for killing the WWE’s biggest prospect at the time.
Except, Braun did not die, re-emerging eight days after the PPV, spawning out of the same garbage truck he had presumably been living in the last few days like Tom Hanks in Castaway. No need to press charges though, eh?
Rikishi
The vivaciously-arsed Rikishi is one of the more kooky Attitude Era characters, getting overdue to his ability to take huge stunts and dancing skills with Too Cool but if we’re to be brutally honest, it was mostly the fact he had a big rump, that he put to good use on opponents.
It is well-known but nonetheless lost in his goofiness that the ex-Fatu attempted vehicular murder when driving into Steve Austin at Survivor Series 1999.
Building up to the event, the WWF knew Austin was still out of action due to healing from injuries but advertised his participation in a WWF title match. In a pre-match moment, “The Texas Rattlesnake” got into it with Triple H, ending with “Stone Cold” lying stone cold on the ground after a car drove straight into him at speed.
For nearly a year, WWF commissioner Mick Foley used his Poirot skills to try to investigate who ran over Austin, with HHH the obvious culprit. Perhaps thinking “The Game” was too obvious, the WWF instead revealed it was Rikishi. Yes, the comic relief Samoan who rubbed his butt in people’s faces was also an unconvicted felon.
Dashing for a justification, he did it for The Rock which turned out to be a ploy as the whole plot was masterminded by Triple H. Rikishi was briefly thrust into the main event scene for a short period, a strange reward for mowing someone over with a car. He also was given the “Bad Man” moniker, which is slightly underselling things.
After attempting to put his attempted murder aside, Rikishi never reached the same high card placement again.
Randy Orton
The Undertaker is not the only star who has various attempted killings to his name as “The Legend Killer” truly lived up to that title.
Orton clearly has some issues with anger as illustrated by his attempts to kill The Undertaker. Not only driving Eddie Guerrero’s low rider with a prone Undertaker through the electrics of the set but also lighting The Undertaker’s casket on fire at No Mercy 2005.
On the topic, Orton seemingly has a common theme of committing arson. In 2017, Randy Orton set the Wyatt Compound ablaze, killing off the spirit of Sister Abigail but the fire-based saga did not end there.
In December 2020, the TLC PPV went off the air with “The Apex Predator” lighting a match onto the unconscious body of “The Fiend” Bray Wyatt after a match, the event going off the air as the former Universal champion went up in flames. Considering that in the duration of the feud Randy coughs up black ooze, wore a Dick Beyer-esque mask after being blinded by a fireball, and lost a singles match to emo child Alexa Bliss, I think murder was one of the more excusable aspects of the rivalry.
The Berzerker
Considering his birth name John Nord, did you really think WWE would not make him an evil Viking?
Under the management of Mr. Fuji, the “Huss!”-shouting Viking was a bizarre act, with his preferred method of winning matches by count-out. Suffice to say, he was not a top-level talent.
The gimmick was a perfectly good low-level heel role although many saw him, perhaps incorrectly, as a watered-down iteration of former AWA tag partner Bruiser Brody.
On the April 25th, 1992 edition of Superstars, Berzerker was set to do combat with The Undertaker. However, ‘Taker was attacked before the bell with various well-placed shots with Nord’s shield. On the ground, Berzerker held his sword overtaking, attempting to impale ‘Taker with the dagger.
Luckily, “The Dead Man” moved. The sword was brought down with such force, it penetrated the ring canvas however which almost certainly would have killed ‘Taker. The match never took place as a brawl took place with the wild Viking hitting a piledriver on the floor.
Time for quick fun facts about The Berzerker interlude:
- The Berzerker’s WrestleMania VIII match with The British Bulldog was canceled due to time constraints.
- The Berzerker had one of three SummerSlam 1992 matches not shown in the US; he lost to Tatanka.
- Nord was the PWI 1985 Rookie Of The Year.
- Nord has never won a wrestling title belt.
- Nord had a short WCW undefeated streak until ended by Bill Goldberg.
- For many years, The Berzerker held the record of winning the match with the most entrants, winning a battle royal on Prime Time Wrestling that had 40 participants. A fair few were enhancement talents – some we do not even know the names of – but this means The Berzerker beat off top stars including former world titleholders Kerry Von Erich (Texas Tornado), Rick Martel, and Ted DiBiase. For the win, he got a shot at Bret Hart’s WWF title.
Seth Rollins
There seems to be a surprising trend in which a fair few attempted murders are fairly recent occurrences, as much as you would think this is a trope of a bygone era.
Rollins too has arguably tried to kill “The Fiend”, whacking him with a sledgehammer. A move so brutal it ended a No DQ match with a DQ, which is some WCW-level non-sensical booking.
Rollins also, perhaps more forgettable due to it taking place only on an episode of Raw, has tried to kill Dean Ambrose.
On Raw in 2014, The Authority beat down “The Lunatic Fringe”, with some cinder blocks at ringside. As Corporate Kane held Ambrose in position over the concrete blocks, Rollins hit the already-pretty deadly Curb Stomp.
WWE reported Ambrose suffered “head and spine trauma”, a kayfabe move that took Ambrose off TV for just over a month.
King Corbin
A sure-fire way to ensure that a wrestler cannot climb a ladder, why not just throw them off a building, it so far has been 100% successful in WWE history.
Indeed, in the 2020 installation of Money In The Bank, the format was completely reimagined with the Covid-19 lockdown altering how and what WWE could do with the concept. In the new form, the ring was positioned on top of the building with the combatants fighting to first reach the briefcase.
When atop the building, King Corbin eliminated some of the competition when deciding to throw both Rey Mysterio and Aleister Black off the top of WWE Headquarters in Stamford, Connecticut. Titan Towers is 85 feet high (25 meters) so a fall is obviously going to kill the unlucky recipient.
The next night on Raw, probably not thinking ahead they needed the stars back, WWE went with the baffling explanation of there being a smaller roof underneath. Even if that were the case, the roof is likely made of concrete or similar building material, which is still going to lead to injury which would rule someone inactive for some time.
For all of this, the King Of The Ring did not even win despite going to murder to try to do so. Otis actually won that match, which is admittedly such a strange move as much as I love Mr. Dozovic.
Talking of wrestlers thrown off buildings…
Hulk Hogan
One of the most infamous main events in WCW history took place at Halloween Havoc in 1995 in which The Giant wrestled Hulk Hogan for the world title. To put The Yeti aside, the set-up to the match was one of the silliest.
Prior to The Giant’s in-ring debut, WCW had Hulk and Andre’s kayfabe son battled in monster trucks on the roof of the arena.
Hogan won and the duo brawled afterward, with Hogan accidentally knocking The Giant off the building presumably into the street or car park below. To be fair, I should say it seemed more like manslaughter than murder as it was an accident with Hogan regretful over the incident.
After that horseplay murder, so it seemed, The Giant nonetheless walked straight out to the ring, without an evident mark on his body even though he had allegedly just fallen off of a building.
Completely non-sensical, The Giant was implied to be immortal but WCW made so little allusion to this that they may as well not tried although Bobby Heenan did his best. The match itself was pretty good for a wrestler who had just supposedly died but, of course, not good by any other standard.
As Dave Meltzer put it “Angles like this are the reason pro wrestling in this country is in the condition it is in”, a pretty damming inditement on the industry at the time.
This would not be the end of murderous Hogan.
At WrestleMania X8. The Rock and Hulk Hogan embraced after the truly titanic bout. It was nice of Rock to completely forget that the nWo member had tried to kill him when “Hollywood” Hulk drove a huge truck straight into an ambulance The Rock was in.
When the WWE saw the nostalgic reaction to Hogan, WWE did a 180 on Hogan thus the time he literally intended to murder one of the most beloved wrestlers of all time was discretely swept under the rug.
Droz
If there is certainly one thing you could say the Attitude Era was not, it was tasteful, and what more proof is needed than the case of alcoholic Hawk.
Real-life substance abuse issues, specifically the addiction to alcohol had been surprisingly popular in the few years preceding the Hawk storyline. 1996 saw drunk Jake Roberts manipulated by Jerry Lawler who poured Jim Bean whisky down his throat and 1998 saw inebriated Scott Hall stumbling down to the ring in WCW.
Purveyors of good taste, the WWF incorporated Hawk’s real-life issues into the storyline although both Road Warriors (Legion Of Doom, as they were in the WWF) were vehemently against the idea. With this drunken state hindering the team, Animal gained a new member in “Puke”, better now known as Darren Droztov, or simply Droz.
Not only was Droz notable (at this point, prior to infamy due to his paralyzing injury in 1999) for being able to throw up on command but also the fact that in storyline Droz had deliberately sabotaged Hawk and tried to end his life.
Reaching its conclusion the helplessly drunk and suicidal Hawk climbed atop the WWF titantron in order to attempt to throw himself off. Droz climbed up, seemingly to try to reason and sympathize with the Road Warrior but instead decided to push him off to his doom off-camera.
It was revealed Droz had purposefully got Hawk addicted in order to take his place in the group, even attempting to kill him by pushing him off the TitanTron. Hawk was going to jump anyway but that would not stand up if Droz was taken to court.
Now without an aura and ruined, the storyline had tarnished the duo’s name in many fans eyes and how could it not, really? Murder was about the only thing that could make the storyline worse, it was just lucky the storyline was scrapped quite soon after. Other than breaking up with LOD (for totally different reasons), there was no punishment for Droz.
Kayfabe Attemped Murder in Wrestling, But Why?
As displayed above, larger-than-life storylines such as attempted murder have been common tools to develop characters, further storylines, and write off stars from television.
All kinds of workers have been guilty of this charge on national television with it an aspect of the larger-than-life sports entertainment side of professional wrestling.
It raises the question as to if attempted murder should ever be used in professional wrestling – a debate I would not do justice here.
As Oscar Wilde put it:
“I should fancy, however, that murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.”