CM Punk: Hell In A Cell
There’s only so much “The Best In The World” can pull off.
2009 saw the first Hell In A Cell PPV, already problematic as it was worried that the creation of such an event would undermine and trivial a match stipulation whose employment should have only been utilized for the most deadly and personal feuds. Anyway, The Undertaker squashed the young World Heavyweight champion Punk at the event, beating him in 10 minutes to win the belt in a one-sided encounter. ‘Taker was reportedly peeved at a perceived Punk jibe after “The Dead Man” chastised the C-to-the-M for not dressing like a champion.
The next year, Punk competed in a three-way HIAC match against John Cena and Alberto Del Rio for the WWE title. The best Punk match at the event, it was good albeit forgettable for a Cell match, ranking in the bottom half of the 40 rated Hell In A Cell matches on Cagematch at #24.
In 2012, the WWE booked themselves into a corner when WWE champion CM Punk took on the yet-to-be-beaten Ryback. Punk retained in a lackluster, prolonged affair when winning after aid from rogue klutz referee Brad Maddox. At the next year’s PPV, a rematch took place, only with a sprinkling of a love triangle as both men had switched heel/face roles, cattily fighting over ex-lover Paul Heyman. Punk hit Heyman with a GTS on top of the cell afterward, which was the most notable part of the match.
The Midnight Express: Starrcade
Starrcade 1985 was the debut Starrcade outing for The Midnight Express. In this match, in short order, the duo won an Atlanta Street Fight over the ‘street people’ team of Jimmy “Boogie Woogie” Valiant and Miss Atlanta Lively. Miss Atlanta Lively was future NWA champion Ronnie Garvin in drag, why? Garvin himself has said it was his idea and put it down to “show business”. The unconventional duo beat Dennis Condrey and Bobby Eaton, before pantsing Jim Cornette – who was wearing comedy undergarments with love hearts on. An absurd comedy bout, the brawl was quite fun but too brief…and just bizarre.
1986’s installment was titled around “Beautiful” Bobby and “Loverboy” Condrey’s clash with The Road Warriors in the Skywalkers match. Suspended 20 feet above the ring on a thin scaffold, although these teams could have produced a good match, any attempted movements were limited. After several minutes of unremarkable strikes – and exclusively strikes – The Midnights were knocked off. Most famously, manager Jim Cornette was then chased up, falling off and totally cocking up the landing, landing on his leg-breaking a knee bone, tearing all the ligaments, and destroying the cartilage in his knee.
The next year, The Midnights – this time with Stan Lane – took on classic rivals The Rock’n’Roll Express in another Skywalkers match. It lasted a bit longer than the first Skywalkers match but even the more mobile and technically sound Morton and Gibson could not get much out of the hindering match type. No bit spot could take place, the likes of which occurred last year but The RNRs did give some comeuppance to manager Big Bubba Rogers. They hit Rogers in the mid-section with Cornette’s racket and just left him there, which felt a bit anti-climactic but the lack of a huge bump was understandable. Bubba left the NWA soon after, with this spot where he was required to take this risk being a contributing factor; he became Big Boss Man in the WWF. So overall, not a successful match by any stretch of the imagination.
By 1988, the duo was relegated to a dark match battle royal.
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