So it’s been a while since Tales from a Hotel/Tales from the Front Desk came out with its last article.  Being winter, it’s been really slow, so not much is going on.  However, I do have two that I can talk about.  One though, I’m still struggling with if I should put it out or not.  We’ll get to that later.  For now, however, let’s move on with an interesting thing that happened the other day.

That Time My Ex Checked Into The Hotel

TW/: Domestic Violance. Child Abuse.

[If you are experiencing anything that is discussed in today’s article please reach out, even if it seems hard, there is help out there. Refuge. Women’s Aid. NSPCC. United Nations.]

I was working the front desk as usual, watching Below Deck on Peacock (Not sponsored), when I heard the familiar door opening.  I wasn’t expecting anyone, and it was later on a Monday, so I assumed either a construction worker or some low-life local.  I can say that because, frankly, it’s true.  Almost everyone local from our town that checks in is a low life and gets kicked out, or the cops called, or something crazy happens.  99% of the time.  However, this time, I hear a familiar voice.

“Yeah this is the right hotel, let’s check in.  Hi, I have a reservation for Jones” (Name changed obviously).”

I knew that voice, far too well.  It was my ex from many years ago.  One who was very heavy-handed, let’s just say.  But he didn’t seem to recognize me.  I looked up between him and his girlfriend with a smirk, and as he set his ID on the counter, I slid it back to him and said

“Oh, I don’t need that, sir.” in my most condescending customer service voice.  “I know who you are already.”

“Wait, you do?  How?” he said, bewildered.  I said he was heavy-handed, not smart.

I looked between them again, and the girl tipped her head as she looked at me.  Something was obviously clicking in her head, even though she didn’t know me.  I simply let the question hang in the air as I went through my routine, wifi password, room location, breakfast, laundry, and ice.

“How do you know me?” he asked again.  But I was saved when the phone rang.  Another person got through the automated system.  Shit.

“Have a good night, sir,” I said again, in the same tone, with a smile.  

His girlfriend was obviously a smart one, as she sent him out to go get his bags.

“You know him, don’t you?”

“Oh yes, quite well.” I responded, and told her we used to “date”.  

More like he used to slap the shit out of me and tell me what to do.  At that point, he came back in with his bags, and he seemed rather jumpy as a cop came in behind him.  One of my favourite cops in town.  Guy has an ass chiselled out of stone.  But anyway. 

They quickly left, and I thought his behaviour odd, but not out of the ordinary considering his past.  The cop and I chatted about someone wanted in town for some small failed attempted robbery, nothing exciting.  I took the information and went back to Below Deck.  Ben had just asked Emily out and I was heavily invested in this relationship.

About 20 minutes passed, and the girl came downstairs.  She smiled at me, with dead eyes.  I could tell she was yet another of his victims.  So she and I had a talk, I let her into the office and we had a long conversation about him, and how he was.  I asked if she wanted me to call the police and get her out, but she said it wasn’t needed, she came in with nothing, and she was going to leave. 

But then I happened to look up at the camera and saw him ascending the stairs.  It was too late to hide her in the office, so I quickly stuffed her under the desk.  He had come looking for her, and I shrugged. 

“I don’t know, I thought she went to the gas station for something.”

He finally looked again, closer, and it dawned on him.

“Holy shit.  You’re <insert my real name here>”

I didn’t look up from my show.  “You win, congrats, now go away, I need to see if Ben kisses Emily, they’re on date two,” I said.  

A Front Desk Interlude

So this is our interlude where I rant.  Don’t piss off a hotel worker, as a couple has found out.  This woman called me and had me book three rooms, which is a total pain in the ass to do.  We got through the entire booking process, and I told her the price. 
“Well online…” 

First of all, never say that.  When you call us, the price is different than online, so don’t even, that will piss someone off already.

“…it says 75, so I’m going to cancel these and book online.  Now, do you have bedbugs?  I need to make sure you don’t, and I want you to spray the room before our arrival to make sure there aren’t any.”

Ok bitch.  Want to waste half an hour on the phone?  You get basement rooms, in the middle of the hotel, in the worst rooms we have.  Don’t be like this woman and be rude like that.  You waste our time, we waste yours.  2 AM wakeup calls happen you know.  Anyways, back to the story.

Worse Than I Could Ever Believe

I heard a snicker from under the desk and coughed quickly to cover it up.  He walked away, annoyed, and I, amused.  He started to walk out, then stopped and hurried back upstairs, which again, was really strange behaviour.  Once I was sure he was gone, I moved to let her out from under the desk.

“Normally I wait until the third date but…” and we got a good laugh out of it.  Then I saw why he ran off so fast. Another cop came in that I didn’t recognize.  He had a badge I didn’t recognize either.  He held it out, and I looked at it. 

Holy.  Shit.

US Marshall.

I had never seen one up close.  He introduced himself as a US Marshall.  He was looking for my ex.  I looked at the girl confused, and she stood up and walked over to the marshall.

“I can explain everything,” she said, as a local cop walked in.  As this was going on, a customer walked up.  

“Hey did you know there are cops all over the building?”

I was really confused as to what was happening, but the local cop explained they were there.  For my ex!  I was ecstatic.  But they needed my help on it, which I hated.  Luckily the computer had actually glitched out on me when I was checking him in, so I was able to call up to the room and ask him to come back down and explained the system caused some issues and I needed to just add his card on file, I wasn’t charging him again.  They took her out after we exchanged numbers, and sorry there was a lot more that happened, but I can’t talk about it, obviously.

Fast forward about half an hour, and he comes downstairs.  I tell him I actually need his ID this time, and the card he had on file.  He was confused, but he handed them over, and I told him I’d be right back and walked into our office to watch the show go down.

The marshall at the door held up his badge

The guy turned to run into the hallway, where a local cop was there.

He bolted for the kitchen, where a marshall and cop were there.  He was completely surrounded.

Then he did something stupid even for him.  He tried to tackle one of the cops, who telegraphed it a mile away and grabbed him in a headlock and took him down.  It was quite the show.

The charge?  Sexual assault of a child.  The child was seven.  I knew he was disgusting but this was a new low.  She was let go, obviously not knowing what had happened, and we’ve become good friends. 

In Below Deck news: Ben did indeed kiss Emily, and now I must continue the season to see what happens.