Tales from the Hotel is back for its seventh instalment.

Let me start out by saying, there are two stories here as usual. The first is the usual fun stupid idiot stuff. The second, well, this is far from the fun, light-hearted crazy stories. This is a very dark, and very, very trigger warning for suicide. I’ve wrestled with if I want to put this out or not, but I figure now is the time. People need to see, it’s not always fun and games.

This is your last chance, if this triggers you, the last part of the article is not for you. The bulk of it though is perfectly safe. There will be one more warning at the triggering part.

Obnoxious Expidia Man

A while back, I won’t say a time frame for obvious reasons, we had a guest staying downstairs in the hotel. It was a day like any other, sunny, bright, pleasant. I remember she checked in and was happy, saying she was getting her life together and things were looking up for her at last. She was only staying a week while her new apartment was finished. She went downstairs to her room, and I didn’t see her for the rest of the night.

In the meantime, another guest checked in. He was quite obnoxious. He had an expedia reservation. I hate expedia. They are a scam, don’t use them.

“Sir I need a card for incidentals.”
“I don’t fucking have it, give me my keys.”
“I can’t do that, you need a card for incidentals.”
“I FUCKING TOLD YOU. I DON’T FUCKING HAVE IT YOU STUPID BITCH!”

That was it for me. I was done with his shit.

“Then kindly get off the property, you’re banned from this hotel.”
“IM CALLING THE FUCKING COPS YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME, I’M A FUCKING SOVEREIGN CITIZEN!”

Great. A sovereign citizen.

As I sat there, feet up on the desk in my biggest “I don’t give a fuck” look, because I really didn’t. I was really amused as he walked out the door, hopefully never to be seen again. In the meantime, Ms Happy-Go-Lucky came back up to get another towel or something, I can’t remember. She was very pleasant, and we chatted for a few minutes before she left back to her room. Little did I know this would be the last time I saw her.
15 minutes later, a cop walked in. I was in disbelief.

“He really called you guys?”
“He really called us.”

She proceeded to tell me a VASTLY different story, about how I was racist towards him, threw a fit, threw a card at him and told him to get the fuck out. All things I did not do. I used my best customer service “fuck you” attitude, which is to kill them with kindness. I told her if she needed it, there was a video of it all, but she said it wasn’t needed, and asked if he was trespassed, to which I informed her he was trespassed at all of our hotels in the city.

She headed out, nothing new for them or me, and the matter was resolved. I went on with my day, went home, took my days off, and came back the following week.

This is where things take a dark turn, so this is where you look away if you’re triggered by suicide.

A Bleak Day at the Hotel

I sat back down and went over who was in the hotel, arrivals, departers for the next few days, etc. I noticed Ms happy was still in the house, and went about my day. Later on, Ms happy’s sister came to visit and drop off some supplies. Having seen her come in at checkout, I happily told her the room, then sat back to watch more Below Deck, my reality guilty pleasure. Except for Adventure, don’t bother with that one, it sucks. Anyways. The next thing I hear is Ms happy’s sister coming back upstairs.

“She’s not answering the door, can you call her?”

I thought that was weird, and called the room, no answer.

She asked if I could open the room, but I had a weird feeling. I told her to stay put and I’d go check on the room. I opened the door, and there was Ms Happy, hanging from the shelf by a cord in her room. I quickly shut the door behind me, checked for a pulse, and called 911. She had somehow managed to hang herself in the room.

She had been gone for a while by the time I found her. On the bed was a note stating that as her life was looking up, she got a call that her cancer had returned. She said life wasn’t worth it anymore, every time she got ahead, she got kicked back. Something I know far too well.

After informing her sister, who was upset obviously, the paramedics came. The decision to extract her body out the window to ground level was made so that the guests wouldn’t see a dead body being brought up the steps. Thankfully there’s a parking lot next door, so it was a quick extraction and loading without anyone seeing. It wasn’t the first suicide I dealt with, but the first here. It was sad, as her life was looking better. But suicide is not an option. There are other ways to get help.

In the US: Dial or Text 988. Alternatively, go to https://sprc.org/

Overseas: Papyrus or Samaritans